‘When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.’ Brene Brown.
Narcissists are excellent at acting. They are seasoned performers. Their greatest talent is in pretending to be someone they’re not. They are charming and likable but without their mask they aren’t able to exploit and manipulate their unsuspecting victims. People are taken in by their fake charm and innocent behavior. It’s not easy to change people’s perception of the narcissist, because they are so convincing in playing the role of the victim.
Narcissists must be in control and must always be right. They possess an entitlement mentality. They lack authenticity, but have deceived and convinced themselves and others that they are. They are emotionally distant and unavailable unless they want something.
‘When a narcissist can no longer control you, they will instead try to control how others see you.’ Author unknown
They are critical and have no problem exploiting their victims. They are not honest and have no sense of shame nor remorse and feel no guilt. Accountability has no meaning. They are slick talkers. They have no conscience. The narcissists does not want his deception to be discovered so he will do and say anything to take the light off of himself. Narcissists believe that the world revolves around them. They are grandiose, lack empathy, compassion and are insecure. They have a need to be admired, accepted and in control. They have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat.
A narcissist paints a picture of themselves as being the victim. They will be offended by the truth because they are absorbed with themselves. They are the center of their world and believe they are above the law of sowing and reaping. Their truth is the only truth and have convinced themselves of it. Narcissists are dangerous people because they believe whole heartedly that they are right and have no regards or respect for anyone but themselves. They prey on their victims and leave them feeling deflated, bewildered and confused. If you are involved in a relationship with a narcissistic, sooner or later you will be harmed.
‘Narcissist. Don’t you just love them! They ruin your life and take the best years from you. Then you spend the rest of your time, time you could be enjoying yourself and just living, on trying to learn about ‘their’ disorder. Just so you won’t be fooled again.’ Alice Little
The following are four red flags to look for when dealing with a narcissistic
Taken from Craig Malkin Ph.D.
“That man should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. He is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:7,8 Berean Study Bible).